Friday, July 25, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Finish

Five Minute Friday

GO.

I grew up persistent.

In my family, in my friendship group, at school, I'm the one who kept going. Moving.  Forgiving.  Holding on.  The tapestry of people around me, I often felt like I was clinging on to the end of the threads.  Who knew what would happen if I let go?

As I get older, I've learned there's a grace to finishing.  To the ending of something.  To honouring an experience, a friendship, a habit, by giving it the dignity of a peaceful, happy end.  Even fairytales conclude!

When I was younger I was so afraid of losing people.  Growing up in our little nucleus, moving around around the country again and again and again, just the five of us, made us close, but also separate.  Grandparents were distant, or distant (some through geography, some through actions and choices).  Aunts and uncles just weren't there.  Friends were lovely, but when you're little it's hard to constantly be making and breaking friendships as miles stretched out between homes.

So as an adult, I carried this behaviour forward.  Now for the most part, it's a great skill.  The skills I learned - of letter writing, birthday remembering, the importance of making time to BE THERE - are real, vital, important things, and are a big part of the reason I have such wonderful friends now.  In three weeks I'll be having my 14 favourite women in the world stand up with me as my bridesmaids, and despite the years and the miles, our friendships have lasted.  Whether they live 2 miles away or 4,745 miles away; whether we've known each other 5 years or 29, I'm so glad we didn't let our friendships finish.  I thank God they continued.

However, there have been friendships I've had to let finish...and it took me quite a while to realise when, and why, and how.  That pesky people-pleasing gene kicks in and I want to keep things going.  But gradually, slowly, a little bit painfully, I'm learning to let go, to have things finish.  Someone who tells you lies, or who talks about you behind your back, or who is judgey (and not helpful-judgey) about your life...it took me the best part of thirty years to learn that my life was better off without that.  And that sometimes the very best start, is actually a finish.

STOP.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Wedding stuff...


After the months of planning and anticipation and conversations....it's all happening!  Is it okay to get really, seriously excited now?

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

100 Happy Days: Days 36 - 40

My (short-lived) productivity app, Carrot, came replete with an incentive kitty.  It's like it knows me!

Back from school on day 37, packing the little grey case for another run up to Edinburgh!
Coming in to land!

We got to stay with the gorgeous Laura, which is always  a treat.  Her flat is adorable, and her hospitality flawless!

I never tire of there being a castle slap bang in the middle of the city!


Day 39 was a lazy start and lunch at The Potting Shed with Laura.

Mmmmmmm, pork!

 Then we jumped into the car and heading out to the country to attend the evening reception of our sweet friends Ross and Emma.  Ross and I were in the same year in sixth form, and his little sister Jenna (yep, that one :)) and I are close.  Ross and Emma kindly invited us to the party!

Chris, the little one, and Jenna.  One of the cutest families I know!

Loved the chance to be on the same continent as my girl!

<3 td="">

The new Mr & Mrs - two of the sweetest, funniest, loveliest people you'll ever have the good fortune to encounter!

I was jealous of their cake cutting sword!
 After the wedding we had the cunning plan to get the sleeper train back home.  The sleeper train of fail, I should add.  Many, many problems and errors later, we finally reached London three-and-a-bit hours late!  Straight to school and playing catch up all day.

Which is why day 40 is tea, and sitting, and cricket.


Friday, July 18, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Bloom

Five Minute Friday


"Bloom where you are planted."

I've always loved that phrase.  I can't recall where I first heard it, but it's one of those lovely quotes I'm so fond of collecting.  I collect words of wisdom as others collect badges or coins or pebbles.  I like to keep them in my pocket to pull out and look at when the mood takes me.

It's a good quote.

Next month, M and I will be starting our marriage.  Planting a seed that I, and he, and we, hope will grow into something strong and good and hearty.  It's something that we want to nourish and enjoy, to watch flourish and bloom.  This season of being engaged has been fun, but I'm so ready for the big day.  And the bigger life.

I've been thinking about growth, about blooming, in the recent past.  I'm unbelievably lucky, but a few things had been niggling.  I have long been a people-pleaser, and recently I've been working on this.  Because while I want to be a great partner, friend, teacher...I've realised that another quote is true.  "You can please all of the people some of the time.  And some of the people all of the time.  But you can't please all of the people, all of the time!"  And some people just aren't going to be pleased.

Yep, at the age of 33, I'm finally making peace with the fact that not everyone is going to like me.  And that's okay.  Now, please don't get me wrong, I'm hoping that not too many people actively dislike or hate me, but I'm sure there's a healthy whack of people for whom I'm just not their cup of tea.  Maybe they don't get my sense of humour.  Maybe they are annoyed by me.  Maybe we used to get on, but have both grown up and apart.

Who knows?  Who cares.

There's a cast of lovelies who I adore, and to quote Frank Turner, "I'm happy and I'm settled in the person I've become."  My friends are quite well able to tell me when I'm being a muppet (hint: frequently).  As for everyone else; good luck to them.  I'll carry on walking my little path, and enjoying the company on the way.

As I grow and bloom.

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