Confessions of a twentysomething drama queen…

Sometimes, just sometimes, I worry there is something wrong with me. Nothing too sinister, just a small inkling, a pervading mood, a strange anomaly of factors. Hee, “anomaly”. Guess who’s been watching a lot of House recently?

Anyway. I’m 26 now, and sometimes I just worry that I’m, well, not a proper grown up. Loads of my friends are settling down, buying flats, having kids and getting engaged…whereas I’m still kind of a nomad, buying lattes, having far too good of a time and getting as many CDs as my pittance can afford.

Is this normal? I’m not sure.

But then, I think it’s one of those mind tricks you play on yourself. You know, like when you’re down in the dumps about being single, so your brain gets into the (ever so slightly pathetic, it must be said) everyone-is-loved-up-and-I-am-all-alllllooooooone frame of mind. You don’t stop and think of all the friends, acquaintances and colleagues you have in the same place as you…your focus is off.

I think the main reason my mind is on the whole being a fake grown up thing is probably being home….I adore my parents, but when they hint at houses and babies, I have to do a fair bit of counting to ten… I just want to say “I don’t know what it is I want…yet. Give me a few years, please?” And I know they are proud of me, and they just want the best for me, but sometimes I worry I’m sort of letting them down. Am I odd?

The thing is, I’m not ready to be a proper grown up just yet. I’m quite happy with work, I have a kickass bunch of friends, and I’m probably one of the happiest people I know. I kind of float around in a little Claire bubble of fun and music, and generally have a ball. And really, I think that’s OK.

In a few years I’d love to be a proper grown up. And I think I’ll get there….eventually. But why buy a house when I don’t know where I want to settle down yet? Why worry about weddings when I don’t even have a boyfriend? Why fret about kids when they are nowhere near the table, let alone on the actual table, just yet?

Roll on the future, but let's not forget today!

To conclude, I’m odd. But I’m starting to think that’s OK.

Cxx

PS Good Lord, I’m emo this evening ;-)
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18 comments:

  1. I have a house and family of my own and I still don't feel like a real grown up half the time. Don't feel pressured to keep to someone elses time line. If you are happy then you are doing things right!

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  2. I started my family--without really intending to ;) at twenty...I felt completely odd because NO ONE I knew was doing this. Now, I am finally feeling like I've landed. (The baby who started it all will be eleven...so it certainly has taken me some time too!)
    --D.--

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  3. Don't burst your Claire bubble just yet. I sometimes wish that I was still that latte-buying-late-sleeper that went to the movies every weekend. And I still don't feel grown up either.

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  4. "I kind of float around in a little Claire bubble of fun and music, and generally have a ball."

    I love that about you. I hope it's a long time before you "grow up." I like this Claire.

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  5. this made me giggle ~ i think you're doing just fine ... grown up proper like is so over-rated ;-)

    being odd is a good thing, i think :) hmmmm and i have a house and a family and i still don't feel like a proper grown up so its all good, cute fun bubble girl ...

    still giggling over here :)

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  6. I think you're perfectly and wonderfully normal! No need to worry about any of that righy now. Beides, what quantifies being a grown up? I don't think I will ever be one...lol

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  7. 26 is still VERY young, Claire. Nothing wrong with you at all. Enjoy the 20's!

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  8. Me too. All my spare money goes to Lego and DVDs. I'll grow up ... eventually. For now, I enjoy being a young kid in a 28 year old's body.

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  9. Oh goodness gracious, I could just steal this post and put it on my blog. You descibe my life - although I am 27...

    I feel so not grown up all the time. I don't want to spend my time/money on houses and babies when I could spend it on fun and CDs and concerts and lattes and bubble bath products.

    And a boyfriend/husband - sure there are perks, but I'm afraid he'd cramp my style.

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  10. Being grown up is so over rated! Enjoy it all!

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  11. Baby steps girl, baby steps. Tackling one at a time will help insure you never settle on anything less than what you want.

    Dr Wiwille out.

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  12. Dont ever grow up too much u are just in that perfect space right now. Enjoy and let it all fall at your feet. You are such a joy.

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  13. Get out of my head!
    How what you have written is me:
    - Not married, no kids, but lots of CDs. That's me. Way too many CDs.
    - little Claire bubble of fun and music. That's me, except for the name, but you get the idea.
    - Age, pretty darn close.
    - My friends are starting to settle down and stuff like that.

    You're making me feel emo now. I hope your happy.

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  14. Emo? But not Emo Phillips. Perhaps a Phillips fan, though? (A.k.a., the Emophiliacs)

    It's funny how odd one feels in this childless, home ownership-less adulthood, yet most of the people I know are in the same situation.

    We aren't odd. Hell, we're probably the majority.

    And 26? You're a whipper-snapper. Keep enjoying life (and that means music and coffee too!). Should children and conventional domesticity descend upon you like George Clinton and the Mothership, don't forget to keep having fun.

    > insert Joan Jett-like rock n roll "Owwww!!" <
    -cK

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  15. You sound pretty normal. I am married with a house and still don't feel like a grown-up. I don't know when that is suppose to kick in.

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  16. no, you're WAY too young to be proper grown-up!!!! enjoy your youth ... and i don't think you're the least bit odd. and it's great to have kick-ass friends. hey, more and more women are waiting till their 30s to get married and snap into fast baby making mode, and that's a very cool thing.

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  17. I'm 29 and in the same boat as you haha. I'm certainly not a grown up yet.

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  18. EMO EMO EMO EMO.. haha L is for Lovely and that really was lovely...

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