I've been having lots of conversations lately. I've been in some strange situations lately. And now I've had a weekend alone in which to think about it all. Which is always useful!
Over the last fortnight or so I feel a little bit like my life has been turned upside down, in a variety of ways. I've learned some really nice, flattering, interesting things about myself and the people around me. I've also learned some not so nice, less than flattering, and at times hurtful things about myself and the people around me too...
So a weekend to clarify has been just what I needed. And now I know what I want to happen in the three main situations I'm involved in....in one I'm hoping for the best. In one I'm cutting my losses. And in the other I'm totally open to whatever transpires. I would write more here, but until other people have shown their hands, I can't.
But I've learned some things, and that is always the main thing. I've learned that while it's OK to be strong and self-reliant, sometimes you need to be able to step back and admit you need something. Admit you need someone, maybe. And I think (think being the operative. Trust me) that I'm ready to do that. I've learned that I am a loyal friend, and I intend to stay that way. I've learned that sometimes fear makes people do things you wish they wouldn't, but you have to let them do what they have to do. I've learned that you have to appreciate the even keel when you have it, because you never know when a wave is going to hit. Or in this case, three in a row....one good, one notsogood, and one hmmmmmm, intruiging.
Hahahahahahaha, are you still with me?
Apart from that is has been a lovely chilled weekend here - lots of reading (am halfway through 'Lolita') and I watched 3 films in a 12 hour window (haven't done that since uni!) - Music and Lyrics (such a cheesefest!), Shortbus (controversial doesn't even begin to touch on this....) and the newer Pride and Prejudice (I love the girl who plays Caroline Bingley in this version. She gives *such* good bitchface).
Which gives me a question for the end (please post your guesses in the comments)! While I was in Madrid I borrowed a book from my friend Hannah with a highbrow title along the lines of "The Jane Austen Guide To Dating" (what can I say? It was a holiday read!). Anyways, at the end of the book was a quiz to work out which Austen heroine you were most like. So, dearest readers, which one was I (for the non-Austenites, I've done a brief characterisation for each as well!)?
a) Elizabeth Bennett - independent, witty, bright and strongwilled.
b) Marianne Dashwood - flighty, impetuous, lively and fragile.
c) Elinor Dashwood - loyal, sensible, polite and bright.
d) Jane Bennett - sweet, kind, loving and giving.
e) Lydia Bennett - naughty, high-spirited, a little dim and undecorous.
Answer to be revealed soon! Bear in mind, all the questions were to do with dating / flirting / love, so it's just my persona for that. Apparently.
Heh, what a post. You see what happens when I have time to think?