Sunday, June 22, 2008

You can't always get what you want...

...but you get what you need, right?

For some reason that lyric's been stuck in my head for the past few days, and I don't really know why. But there it is, and there it will no doubt stay until it decides to shift. I've been thinking some big thoughts recently, there have been some stresses and sleepless nights, but I think I'm starting to get a handle on stuff. Thanks for all the comments and emails about my last post - the thought of taking a leap into the unknown both fills me with dread and excitement...we'll see, I guess.

I've been thinking a lot about wants and needs recently. When I was younger, and things were tougher, they were easier to identify, if not easier to acquire. And I've worked hard, and I've tried, and sometimes I have to pinch myself because so many great things and so many wonderful people and so many fab experiences have come my way. Life isn't perfect by any means (whose is?), but sometimes I wish I could go back to my twenty-year-old self and say "It's OK, sweetie. That wasn't your fault. And it's going to be OK." Or flip back to my sixteen year old self and say "Stop that. Really. It's all going to work out in the end." Or just go back to my poor little nine year old self and give her a big old hug. And a heap of love. Because heaven knows, that child needed it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing sometimes.

It's also wishful thinking though, let's face it. I can't go back, and without those experiences, those dark times, the bad days, who knows if I'd have the blessings I have today? The past forms you, to all intents and purposes, and the way you react to things decides what path you'll take. And I quite like the life I've built for myself. I like my little flat, and my friends, and my job, and the way I can use my talents and skills (silly and frivolous as they may be) to help people.

I like helping people.

So I've been thinking about what I want (or rather what I would like), and what I need. And it turns out my needs are few. Apart from the basic awesome human rights (food / water / clothing / shelter / freedom) , my other needs are fairly simple. I want to (need to...) be able to help people, and love people, and make people happy. And hopefully, with time, I'll be able to let them help me and love me and make me happy. I'm learning how to do this, slowly but surely. I'd say I'm at about one-and-a-half out of three right now. Not too bad, starting from zero.

Haha, blogging has to be the cheapest therapy available, no?

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend!

Love,
Cxx

15 comments:

  1. Hey Claire thanks for stopping by my blog! How did you find it, btw?

    You are young, now is the time to try new things...it gets harder as you get older and more settled...not that I am old or anything...:)

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  2. In a way you are going back - not to change things obviously - but to see and embrace and understand yourself at 9 / 16 / 20.

    in my experience that makes it easier to understand yourself today.

    thanks for visiting me.

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  3. Blogging=Therapy

    I'm 'write' there with ya

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  4. It's hard sometimes figuring out our place in this world and what we're meant to do, but it sounds like you're on the right track :)

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  5. Everything we go through helps us become who we are today. I wouldn't change one thing, and it wasn't all good (trust me!).

    Helping others is a way of helping yourself. I'm with you on this one. I have to be more available to those in need.

    Online therapy, that's part of blogging FOR SURE.

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  6. Hi Claire,
    Returning your visit, I'm glad you enjoyed my post.
    I agree blogging is better then therapy, anyway it was until my kids found my blog, now I have to be a wee bit more careful what I post.
    Come see me again soon...GiGi

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  7. I can identify so strongly with how your thoughts find you at present, and it strikes me as a jolly coincidence that you and I both wish we could speak to our younger selves to tell them "it will all work out in the end". This is the society of thought which makes me glad to have discovered your writing as well.

    Were is your home? In Nairnshire? I think it's the most beautiful corner of heaven on earth, and I'm settling in well.

    I send my warmest regards.

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  8. As I sort through the vast amount of stuff we have acquired, I'd say you are a wise woman! Stuff, $$, these are not happiness makers. Memories, people, these are.

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  9. So true about the past shaping our future selves, but I'd still like to grab my thirteen year-old self by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.

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  10. I also have wished that I could move back and forth in time and chat with past and future selves.

    Blogging is indeed good, and cheap, therapy! :) Plus, you get such positive feedback too!

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  11. I thin when all of us thin kabout what we need it gets more simple. But I'm also with you in facing the problem (though in many ways luxury) of finding it harder to know what you want when life is easier and the problems are more mundane. I hope you find a way through all this as you are rather lovely.

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  12. I always find my blogging to be an addition to my issues, but that's because I'm kind of a messed up guy.

    Look it's TMI Monday!

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  13. i think presently my only desire is to have a few days off to decompress

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  14. The moment I read the title, I got it stuck in my head, blast!

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Thank you for your comment - I do read them all but it may take me a little while (a couple of days) to respond during busy times. I love reading what you have to say!

Have a wonderful day!

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