That feeling that feels like home....

Home is such a funny concept, isn't it? That space or place or time where you just feel safe and needed and at peace. It's something I've been thinking about recently, trying to make the intangible a little more tangible.

I love that feeling of peace, of serenity, of safety, of wholeness. I can pinpoint moments where I've felt the bliss of wholeness, the joy of homeness. It can be to do with a place, or a person, or just a state of mind. And it's great.

Lying in my bed reading late at night (yes, my crappy old couchbed, in my tiny wee flat), the lamplight soft on the yellow walls, music playing quietly, a cup of tea to hand and rest in grasp.

Sitting on the beach at twilight, the sound of the waves in your ears, the strange peace that comes from something as vast and unknowable as the sea.

Singing along at the top of my lungs at the gig of a band or an artist I love, jumping up and down, not caring how I look, not caring if I get mussed or if my shirt rides down or I get dishevelled. Just there, in the moment.

That moment where I hit the last part of my drive home and the Highlands loom before me as something deep within me just resounds.

Holding a tiny new baby for a big old hug session and just being blown away by how tiny and precious and amazing she is. Wanting so much for her and feeling so priveledged to be part of who she might become...

A kiss you can lose yourself in. A kiss that makes you feel found.

Conversations in the wee small hours with people you love and respect. The kind of conversations that show you who you really are.

After a night of nothing untoward happening, waking up in someone elses arms, and just feeling protected and rested and happy.

That moment on stage when you're deep in the song, and the audience are with you, and the band are behind you, and you just know this is part of what you were born for.

And a hundred other moments, all meshed together and blissful.


To close my ponderings on home, the lyrics to one of my favourite girl songs about the same. Here, it's romantic, but I think there are many ways to feel like home:

Feels Like Home - Chantal Kreviazuk (here with a cheesey 'The Notebook' inspired video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjky7v7JIow)

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

And for all my fellow hopeless romantics, a quote from 'Sleepless In Seattle' to close:

"Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic."

I wish that feeling for all of you.

Love,
Cxx
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14 comments:

  1. I appreciate that feeling all the more for having gone through long stretches of my life when it was absent. Now I treasure every moment of it, and I have plenty. :-)

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  2. this is an absolutely incredible post, claire. gave me shivers.

    and i love the glimpses you used to give us an idea of what home means to you...so beautiful.

    (sorry if you get this comment twice. i might have sent it twice, or i might have erased the first one. oops.)

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  3. thank you!! what a great wish and hope!

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  4. It's true. A house that is full of love is the best place in the world.

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  5. Great post.

    I love my fave band the Weakerthans because they have a lot of songs that are about the meaning of home, and being connected/disconnected from home.

    I've always said that home is where I'm not. When I'm in Toronto, I call Stratford home, and vice versa.

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  6. awwww claire...the video was ever, ever so sweet. and your view of home is so personal, so uniquely you. wonderful post!

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  7. Home is where you live. Probably where your mail is delivered. A place with a lot of your stuff piled in some semi-chaotic manner.

    But if I was looking for a more metaphysical definition, I think you hit it on the head.

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  8. I love this post. I can't quite define my 'home' at the moment as it has changed a wee bit over the last few months but I love that heart lift you get when 'home' whoever or wherever that may be is in sight.

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  9. "A kiss that makes you feel found." I want that. ;)

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  10. "That feeling that feels like home..." EXACTLY why I built a bar in my house, Lol !

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  11. This is wonderful. That feeling of home. When I met the love of my life, it felt like I was HOME. And really, I was.

    Thanks for visiting my little home-on-the-web. I appreciated the oh-so-kind comments.

    I'll be back.
    Debi

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  12. Okay, now my turn to ask... are you ME? Ha!

    Cat

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  13. Please come visit me... I wrote about the same sentiments a few posts back. Such a lovely post you wrote, thank you.

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