Friday, July 25, 2014

Five Minute Friday: Finish

Five Minute Friday

GO.

I grew up persistent.

In my family, in my friendship group, at school, I'm the one who kept going. Moving.  Forgiving.  Holding on.  The tapestry of people around me, I often felt like I was clinging on to the end of the threads.  Who knew what would happen if I let go?

As I get older, I've learned there's a grace to finishing.  To the ending of something.  To honouring an experience, a friendship, a habit, by giving it the dignity of a peaceful, happy end.  Even fairytales conclude!

When I was younger I was so afraid of losing people.  Growing up in our little nucleus, moving around around the country again and again and again, just the five of us, made us close, but also separate.  Grandparents were distant, or distant (some through geography, some through actions and choices).  Aunts and uncles just weren't there.  Friends were lovely, but when you're little it's hard to constantly be making and breaking friendships as miles stretched out between homes.

So as an adult, I carried this behaviour forward.  Now for the most part, it's a great skill.  The skills I learned - of letter writing, birthday remembering, the importance of making time to BE THERE - are real, vital, important things, and are a big part of the reason I have such wonderful friends now.  In three weeks I'll be having my 14 favourite women in the world stand up with me as my bridesmaids, and despite the years and the miles, our friendships have lasted.  Whether they live 2 miles away or 4,745 miles away; whether we've known each other 5 years or 29, I'm so glad we didn't let our friendships finish.  I thank God they continued.

However, there have been friendships I've had to let finish...and it took me quite a while to realise when, and why, and how.  That pesky people-pleasing gene kicks in and I want to keep things going.  But gradually, slowly, a little bit painfully, I'm learning to let go, to have things finish.  Someone who tells you lies, or who talks about you behind your back, or who is judgey (and not helpful-judgey) about your life...it took me the best part of thirty years to learn that my life was better off without that.  And that sometimes the very best start, is actually a finish.

STOP.

8 comments:

  1. I'm dealing with lying and talking behind my back from family members. I'm pretty much at the point where I want to wish them well with their lives, but not socialize with them or see them anymore. :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That must be so hard. I hope it all works out, however is best.

      Delete
  2. I am the same way when relationships come to an end. I have a hard time letting go and it takes me a while to even realize I should, but when it's what God has planned for me it always works out for the best.

    Congratulations on your exciting day coming up!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We have a lot in common - I'm a "finisher" too, multiple moves, etc. So much of what you write here rings true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love what you learn through peoples blogs :)

      Delete
  4. So true!! Visiting from #FMF...loved this take on "Finish". Sometimes it is good to let people go if all they are doing is choking the life out of you. Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, lovely to "meet" you!

      Delete

Thank you for your comment - I do read them all but it may take me a little while (a couple of days) to respond during busy times. I love reading what you have to say!

Have a wonderful day!

Hi, I'm Claire...

Hi, I'm Claire...

About Me

I believe in 80s pop, 90s teen movies, and proper thank you notes. I just like smiling...smiling's my favourite.

I write here about London, food, books & travel, and a lot more besides. I'm never happier than when having adventures, cooking for friends, or lost in a good book.

If you'd like to work together, or if you'd just like to say hello, my email is: countrymouseclaire@gmail.com

Please note that on occasion affiliate links may be used in this blog. All items received for review or paid posts will always be disclosed.

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