One shunt forward, and two shunts back

Cher: So, how did I do?
DMV Tester: How’d you do? Well, let’s just see shall we? You can’t park, you can’t change lanes, you can’t make right hand turns, you damaged private property and you almost killed someone. Off hand, I’d say you failed.

So today was the driving test.

And I failed again.

And sobbed my heart out like a little kid…


I had literally worked my butt off, paid attention, worked on my manoevers, practised, practised, practised…and I did even worse this time around.

Oh my.

Cher: You can’t be the absolute and final word on drivers’ licenses?
Driving Instructor: Girlie, as far as you’re concerned, I am the messiah of the DMV.

I think I’ve found the problem though. I freak out in driving tests. My legs go to jelly, my brain goes to mush, I panic like you wouldn’t believe.

I’ve never worked so hard at something in my life and still failed so utterly at the end.

Cher: I felt impudent and out of control. Which I really, really hate. I had to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength…

I am so mad at my stupidity right now.

Hope your days are going much, much better!



  1. Amber
    1st November 2006 / 4:02 pm

    I’m so sorry you didn’t pass. Good luck next time!

  2. G
    1st November 2006 / 4:36 pm

    Third time lucky, Claire, it took me three attempts.

  3. angel, jr.
    1st November 2006 / 4:42 pm

    I’m still traumatized by my driving test. I still remember it to this day.

  4. Stephen
    1st November 2006 / 4:44 pm

    Goodness! I know you’ll figure it out soon, though.

  5. Anonymous
    1st November 2006 / 4:52 pm

    Oh, I am sorry, Claire! Those evil people at the DMV- that’s what we call it here in America. Dept. of Motor Vehicles…Hey, move to Florida and I bet you would pass your test with no problems! They let anybody drive here, especially in FL…;)

  6. Anonymous
    1st November 2006 / 5:50 pm

    Don’t give up. I failed the first time too, and my wife took more than 2 tries. Liek you I think she just got nervous, and she is not the nervous types. All I can say is don’t give up and keep your chin up. You will be just fine. 🙂

  7. Rachel
    1st November 2006 / 5:56 pm

    Ha ha ha, I love Clueless. Sorry you didn’t pass though. Your probably just getting so nervous that it’s even harder for you to concentrate. Cliche, I know, but just try to relax.

  8. Chana
    1st November 2006 / 7:21 pm

    I’m so sorry!! I hope you pass the next time!Love your blog – thanks for stopping by mine! 🙂

  9. Anonymous
    1st November 2006 / 8:23 pm

    Sounds like you need more practice behind the wheel. How long do you have to wait to take it again?

  10. Anonymous
    1st November 2006 / 8:27 pm

    I am ashamed of my stupidity right now. I did wonder why you were just getting you license at 25? I completely missed the Clueless reference though, which is odd because it is a movie I actually like.Kudos to rachel for getting it….looks like she was the only one.

  11. Britmum
    1st November 2006 / 8:59 pm

    Claire thats such a bugger. I remember mine too and I was the same. Jelly legs and all that. It will happen….sweetie. I said once my armpits were dry I would know I could drive.Take care xx

  12. Hulles
    1st November 2006 / 9:08 pm

    Yeah, I didn’t get the Clueless reference right away either. Doh.Hang in there, dear. We love you and support you. Take the test as many times as it takes, and remember that it ain’t a DMV examiner at the Pearly Gates. XOXO.

  13. Anonymous
    1st November 2006 / 9:43 pm

    I failed 3 times before my 18th birthday. 15 years later I still don’t have my license. It’s not because I wouldn’t pass but because I refuse to tell them my weight. Apparently you can’t get a license without it being on there. I’m going to suck it up, do my test, get my license and lie about my weight.

  14. Los
    1st November 2006 / 9:44 pm

    Hang in there, Claire. It is a very stressful test. Just remember, the person sitting next to you is a person just like you – no better/no worse. All you gotta do is think of it as just a ride in the park. I know it is easier said than done, but we know you can do it.

  15. Gareth
    1st November 2006 / 10:49 pm

    How many times have you taken it??Hey, do you remember that small Welsh woman from a few years ago who had a TV programme that was dedicated to her learning how to drive with her long suffering husband trying to teach her. Maureen Rees was her name.Well I’m not suggesting anything but perhaps you should write to the BBC and …………………. ok I’m saying nuttin’ now 😉

  16. Wes
    1st November 2006 / 11:38 pm

    I’m afraid I can’t offer any kind of advice or ideas. I literally grew up in the driver’s seat. I think I was driving as soon as I could touch the pedals and see over the dash at the same time. That’s what growing up in the Praires will do to you. :)Good luck next time! 🙂

  17. Anonymous
    2nd November 2006 / 2:20 am

    i love you, sweetpea. you are wonderful and soon you’re going to blow that fricking driver’s test out of the water. but until then…know that you’re one of the specialest ones to me.hope that made you smile, a wee bit.

  18. Bossy♥'s YOU
    2nd November 2006 / 3:20 am

    damn…that sucks..but that is one good movie:)nice refrence;)

  19. Cliff Morrow
    2nd November 2006 / 3:24 am

    Awwww that’s too bad. This has to get better…right?? Hope your luck turns around for you.

  20. Anonymous
    2nd November 2006 / 9:09 am

    This doesn’t help me feel positive about taking lessons at all :(I’m petrified of driving uphill!

  21. Phoenix
    2nd November 2006 / 12:43 pm

    bummer! but chin up, am sure you will crack it the next time…good luck!

  22. Anonymous
    2nd November 2006 / 1:28 pm

    still love you. email me, poppet.

  23. Anonymous
    2nd November 2006 / 3:08 pm

    Why don’t you hire a driver to take you around 😀

  24. Nee
    2nd November 2006 / 3:18 pm

    Oh, sorry to hear that Claire!I still haven’t taken a driving test in this country (manual transmission, yikes!), and I had to go through flunking a couple back home as well. So…hey, at least you’re in great, even if rather immodest, company ;-)So cheer up and go back with a vengeance!Nee

  25. Scott
    2nd November 2006 / 9:07 pm

    Don’t worry about it… i have a friend that failed four times and she is a great driver now… you will get it one of these times.Scott

  26. JC
    2nd November 2006 / 11:57 pm

    Yeah, I failed the driving test 3 times and I was allowed to drive on the left side of the car.

  27. blackcrag
    13th November 2006 / 9:25 am

    Sorry to hear your woes.If it makes you feel better, I am 34 and I still haven’t got my driver’s. Seriously.Failed twice so far.

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