Is great, most of the time. I’m so lucky and so blessed in so many ways, and I’d run out of space here if I tried to list all the wonderful people, wonderful things, and wonderful times I have in my life. I’ve also been through some dark and nasty places (including Aberdeen, bdmm kssh!), so I know how doubly blessed I am.
I’ve got friends who just make my heart sing, and people who make me giggle, and people who make me want to be a better person. I’ve got a safe warm home, and more things than I ever dreamed of when I was sharing a room with the sibs, wearing thrift shop clothes and never getting new things or nice things. I’ve had so many chances and opportunities, and I’ve been surprised time and again by the sheer niceness, beauty and awesomeness of this thing called life!
Something’s up. Something’s….missing? It’s like I’m here and my life is grand, and I think I’m doing OK. But I’m not where I want to be. And I’m not sure how I get there. I feel a bit like a supporting actress rather than a main player, somehow. Is that mental?
I guess I’m getting to the point in my life where I’d like to feel I’m part of a home and a family of my own, if that makes any kind of sense? But I’m greedy, of course, I’d still want to have adventures and fun and friends who crack my stuff up. I have friends that have this in their lives, and on days like today I just want to sit down with them and ask them how they did it! It’s just a blue day I’m sure, brought on from too much work and a lot of pressure, but this theme is coming up every so often now….so I thought I‘d think aloud and see if I could make some more sense of it.
Maybe I’m missing a gene or something. I’m just feeling a bit lacking today. I want someone to come give me a hug and explain how to fix this…
I’m good, I’m OK, I’m tired. I love you all bundles and hope you are having a super day!