Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same

Morning all! It’s 7.15 (a.m.!) and I’m up and blogging as I have breakfast. I hope you’re suitably impressed by the enthusiasm :-). The title of this post comes from one of my favourite BNL songs (“What A Good Boy” – I’ve chosen a live link from youtube, because the official video isn’t available in the UK. Maybe they are scared it will blow our minds? Excuse the sweary whoppy intro, and hold out for the tune. And enjoy the frat boys singing along), which happened to be the first thing that came on my media player as I hit play. What an apt song, what an apt lyric, for a twentysomething at home again,

It’s a beautiful day here. As I look out of my window I can see a beautiful blue sky, with just a few of those wispy, high altitude clouds. The sun is out and smiling down on our litttle town, exactly as it did all day yesterday…it seems I’ve brought the summer with me. For now, anyway. This *is* Scotland. Rain is always ready to strike! It’s so strange to be back on our little housing estate, exactly like the service housing estates I grew up on (except this one is nicer, smarter, more expensive, and has fewer deserted children sitting in the road). The sort of place where people wave to one another as they put the bins out, where a new car attracts attention, where a late arrival home from the pub causes curtains to twitch, where the summer holidays mean that from 8-8 our cul-de-sac is a riot of children playing on their bikes, running around, playing hide and seek. Is there anything more inherently awesome as grade school kids enjoying their summer break?

I’m so proud of my parents and their house. It’s the home they’ve always dreamt of, and they’ve worked hard to get it. There were times in my teens when I was genuinely worried that they wouldn’t be able to afford a home after Dad retired from the RAF. But they did it (because they’re awesome), and I’m so happy their dream came true.

So the summer of fabulosity, fun, and thinking continues. I feel I’m coming to a bit of a crossroads, so the time to ponder is most welcome. I’m trying to get my head straight and sort out goals and the like – what do I want to do? What do I need to do? What’s not important anymore? And most pertinent of all – what the heck do I do with my hair?

So that lyric spoke to me this morning. “Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same”? Welcome to my headspace (in a good way – this think’s been brewing a while).

Hope your week has started awesomely!



  1. cdave
    22nd July 2008 / 9:20 am

    Yay! I love BNL. Their songs are usually so upbeat and fun, but they sneak the profound stuff in there.Plus they’re fantastic live.

  2. Jon
    22nd July 2008 / 12:23 pm

    I think no matter what you decide, if you’re totally happy, you did the right thing. Enjoy your time up there!

  3. Sacred Suzie
    22nd July 2008 / 1:21 pm

    Wonderful energy in this post! I think the time to clear space either physically, mentally or spiritually is upon a lot of us. Figuring out what we want is such a challenge! I know you will figure it out Claire, you are so close.

  4. Christielli
    22nd July 2008 / 1:25 pm

    I used to sing a long to that song when I was feeling angst in grade 8 and beyond. It’s good.Your ‘rents neighbourhood in Scotland sounds cute. Yeah, my summer of fabulousity has been dotted with quite a bit of introspection too. *sigh* It’s true, what *am* I going to do with my hair?

  5. Cheryl
    22nd July 2008 / 5:07 pm

    I think we’ve all been in that mindspace. I know I have.

  6. Scarlet
    22nd July 2008 / 9:05 pm

    So many miles apart yet so many of the same thoughts/feelings. I get you.

  7. JLee
    23rd July 2008 / 3:08 am

    Boy, can I relate to those lyrics! I think it’s all part of human nature 🙂

  8. I AM
    23rd July 2008 / 3:09 pm

    Aren’t we all? Afraid, that is? The beauty is when we find a way, amongst all of that fear to be brave and powerful and strong….it sounds like you are well on your way.

  9. Siobhan
    23rd July 2008 / 7:17 pm

    Change is good. Though the change I have made has thrust a strange chain reaction on me I’m embracing it for now and looking forward to the calm where I can reflect and see what I want next. I’m happy you have this time now. You deserve it.

  10. Riot Kitty
    24th July 2008 / 3:39 am

    Again, I’m so jealous! I want to be in the UK! I’m stuck here with a fuck-off for a prez.

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