Because age is just a number…

Isn’t it funny how many ages you can feel in a day, let alone a week?

When I’m at work I feel grown up and responsible, I know people rely on me, and children depend on me. I’m organised and hardworking and all that good stuff. In other areas of life, I feel a completely different age, if not a different person. When I’m on the phone with Siobhan, or on msn with Christy or Lou, or drinking wine and singing showtunes with Hannah, I feel like I’ve regressed ten years and I’m seventeen again. When I sing properly, I feel a million ages all at once, young but old, strange but familiar. When I’m goofing around with Mlle Wilson I feel young and silly and foolish, a teenager again, full of chat and hope and giggles and sweeping statements.
When I’m cuddling Bryony Boo, her four month old face painted with a smile, big beautiful eyes taking in the world, I feel old. Her newness is intoxicating! When I’m curled up chatting with the boy I like, I feel young and vunerable and safe. All at once. When I blog sometimes I feel old and wise (even though I’m not wise), looking back on the years past, dreaming of the years to come, remembering faces and feelings and friends. When I look around my flat at the books and postcards and piles and disarray I feel like a student again (this feeling is further compounded when I choose to fish a teabag out using a fork, rather than washing up a spoon!). When I do a decent workout I feel young somehow, feeling as my body changes, growing stronger as the months pass. When I curl up to go to bed I feel like a child again, the smell of lotion and the coolness of the pillow lulling me off into the immortality of dreams…

Love,
Cxx

20 Comments

  1. Christielli
    13th October 2008 / 11:26 pm

    I love this post.I think I make a lot of people feel 17 again because since I’m always around teenagers, I’m very good at acting like one. And I like to talk about boys. 😉

  2. Cheryl
    14th October 2008 / 12:57 am

    So true. I think it’s a good thing though, to feel all those ages. Definitely.

  3. Miss Ash
    14th October 2008 / 1:51 am

    Beautifully written Claire!

  4. kilax
    14th October 2008 / 2:56 am

    I never thought of all this – but it’s so true. And you couldn’t have worded it better!I feel older when I am at work, but goofy and young the rest of the time. 😉

  5. Jon
    14th October 2008 / 1:18 pm

    I too have been feeling that way lately, but usually just “old”. But it’s so fun to feel 17 again sometimes.

  6. Jen
    14th October 2008 / 3:33 pm

    I too feel different ages at different times like work, and around other people lol :p

  7. robin bird
    14th October 2008 / 6:18 pm

    hmmm… at 55 there are really an awful lot of ages to pick from. like you i go all over the place and that makes me happy. i feel most young when i am very excited about something or someone and i don’t hold back but act how i feel. i feel the youngest and the oldest when i am caught in depression. grief feels different than depression but i don’t know how old i feel. my body has been a source of frustration because i have trouble seeing the way i know i could if y vision were better. the rest of my body feels younger than it is but surely older than i want it to be. when i am with olivia or rachel i feel really old and young all at once..and very happy! but see… i like coming to your blog partly because you are so young and wise all at once. because you are you 🙂 great post claire!!

  8. rawbean
    15th October 2008 / 1:14 am

    Awhh such a sweet post. Good to know your creative mind is shaping the minds of the youth!

  9. patches
    15th October 2008 / 2:38 am

    It doesn’t seem to matter what age I feel at the moment, I always feel like I’m in over my head.

  10. Riot Kitty
    15th October 2008 / 6:40 am

    My friend, who is 40, went rollerskating last week 🙂

  11. Boy
    15th October 2008 / 12:47 pm

    “When I curl up to go to bed I feel like a child again, the smell of lotion and the coolness of the pillow lulling me off into the immortality of dreams…”What a great capture of an experience, I love it. It made me want to stop and take notice of all the seemingly mundane daily activities that contribute to my day.Lovely, as always!

  12. Bethany
    15th October 2008 / 8:20 pm

    Awesome post. I feel this conundrum in my own life. I was talking about high school last night and had the shocking realization that it had been 20 years since I was 15. TWENTY. That sounds so very old, old, old.Then I remembered that I’ve only been married two years yet and I hope to have my first baby in the next few, and suddenly I felt quite young for my age of 35. 🙂

  13. Sparkling Red
    16th October 2008 / 12:36 am

    I do declare: you are indeed wise! Just not stuffy and serious. I think it is completely possible to be wise and playful at the same time.

  14. Nicole
    16th October 2008 / 3:16 am

    I love feeling like a kid sometimes! To be all giggly and giddy! I also love to be serious at times and have a nice conversation. I think it is important to let yourself be young and old all in one day. It makes life interesting and fun! I really do love your posts Claire :o)

  15. JLee
    16th October 2008 / 10:42 pm

    This is so true, although I mainly feel 12 most of the time. 😉

  16. Scarlet
    17th October 2008 / 12:19 am

    I feel all these things, too, come to think of it…after reading this post. Second by second, minute by minute, our mood can change. We need to focus on what makes us feel YOUNG, VIBRANT, ALIVE!!! 🙂 I love the smell of clean sheets at night. It’s a sure way to have SWEET DREAMS!

  17. Diane Mandy
    17th October 2008 / 11:53 am

    I need to follow some of these tips. I feel OLD today.

  18. Sandra Evertson
    17th October 2008 / 5:29 pm

    Great post!Sandra

  19. Amber
    18th October 2008 / 1:26 pm

    Oh Claire! This post is so refreshing. I really needed this today.

  20. Tinsie
    19th October 2008 / 11:24 am

    You know, I had the same thoughts earlier today – how spooky is that?!!Totally agree btw.

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