Sunday Self Portrait

I spend an awful lot of time worrying about how I look.

I feel fat and unattractive and weird-looking an awful lot.

One thing thrown up by my newfound love of working out is that I feel pretty darn disconneted to my body. These eyes, these fatty thighs, that wonky smile, the mad hair….they are part of me and yet sometimes I look in the mirror and have no idea just who is looking back. It’s like I’m trapped in a body I don’t know. And I don’t like.

But sometimes, just sometimes, there’s something I like – a curl, a dimple, a patch of smooth skin unblemished, and I think that’s worth celebrating. On this journey of getting healthy and trying to be fitter, this journey of growing and accepting and owning, I want to celebrate the victories, face the demons, and deal with all the flaws too.

So every Sunday, I shall snap a picture of myself. Might be a close up, might not, might be a foot or an elbow, or a waistcurve gradually revealing itself….but really it’s just me capturing a moment and trying to feel like less of a stranger in my own body. Here’s to the journey, I guess.

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5 Comments

  1. A Rancher's Wife
    3rd April 2011 / 8:17 pm

    love this! I'll tune for these posts and hope to find some inspiration!

  2. Christielli
    3rd April 2011 / 9:13 pm

    Your first photo is very beautiful!I think this is a great project. I think it's sad, but most women feel the way you do, I bet. I know I do, and I'm pretty sure that even the women that we view as drop dead gorgeous feel that way too. I think it's sad how our society has made feeling beautiful so unattainable.I think this is a great project! You are beautiful inside and out!

  3. Riot Kitty
    3rd April 2011 / 11:36 pm

    Well you look absolutely beautiful in this photo, Claire.

  4. Wiwille
    4th April 2011 / 8:12 pm

    You do look good in that photo and you do have the sexy accent that's so appealing.

  5. Miss Ash
    6th April 2011 / 2:12 am

    You're certainly not alone in the way you feel! I've had ugly days where I've been at the mall and after seeing my reflection in the mirror I've left because I've felt hideous! I'm working on it!

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